View Full Version : I rammed a big dagger of glass into my heel last night
torridjoe
02-08-2006, 06:02 PM
So I'm standing in the kitchen in my work socks, talking to Lil Joe. I take a step toward him, and feel something stick up under my foot. Then I feel a jolt of pain, and the thing that was under my foot doesn't seem to be under it anymore.
Now it's starting to hurt like a big ol bitch. I'm thinking, "I must have stepped on glass, but it felt almost like a Lego or something much bigger than glass...
I'm hopping around, bleeding onto the floor, getting Ferv to look at it. She clears the blood off and says, "I think it's just a little skin hanging off there. Maybe you have a splinter." Nuh uh! This hurts like no splinter. I start thinking, "geez, you wuss--for stepping on glass or soemthing like that, you sure have a low tolerance for pain."
Ferv finally says, "Hey, I think there IS something in there!" and gets the tweezers. She grabs onto something, and yanks out a jagged hunk of glass about an inch long, shaped like the blade of a fishing knife. The whole thing had just gone straight up into my heel.
Mother FUCK that thing hurt.
:wigglypea: :screams: :eek: :sadbanana:
SigEp316
02-08-2006, 06:11 PM
fucking Bush:wigglypea:
DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$
02-08-2006, 06:11 PM
who the hell has gigantic shards of glass laying all over their kitchen? :unsure:
EMoney
02-08-2006, 06:12 PM
ouch
torridjoe
02-08-2006, 06:13 PM
who the hell has gigantic shards of glass laying all over their kitchen? :unsure:
just the one--I hope. A couple weeks ago a glass container fell out of the freezer and shattered. We vacuumed, swept, etc.---but must have missed that piece somehow.
Gutter
02-08-2006, 06:15 PM
just the one--I hope. A couple weeks ago a glass container fell out of the freezer and shattered. We vacuumed, swept, etc.---but must have missed that piece somehow.
How do you miss an inch long jagged hunk of glass in the middle of the floor over the span of a couple of weeks?
I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this.
torridjoe
02-08-2006, 06:23 PM
How do you miss an inch long jagged hunk of glass in the middle of the floor over the span of a couple of weeks?
I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this.
Who said it was in the middle of the floor? :rolleyes:
It was along the baseboard where the counter top ended, in the space between the counter and the cabinetry on the other side of the gap where you walk into the kitchen.
Glass is clear. Floor is white.
The piece was pretty thin and mostly flat. I'm not sure how I got it to stand up on end so it could go into my foot, but it did.
Autumn Wind
02-08-2006, 06:27 PM
Who said it was in the middle of the floor? Floor is white.
Floorist! :screams:
Gutter
02-08-2006, 06:28 PM
It was along the baseboard where the counter top ended, in the space between the counter and the cabinetry on the other side of the gap where you walk into the kitchen.
You mean the doorway?
Does Mr. Magoo vaccum your floor?
paulinstl
02-08-2006, 06:30 PM
I was drunk one night and got up to take a leak and knocked over my trash can. I picked up the trash that fell out, or at least I thought I had. I got up later to take another leak and stepped on a light bulb. POP! I was picking pieces of very thin glass out my foot for days.
Hurts lie hell. I feel your pain Dude.
Gutter
02-08-2006, 06:35 PM
I was drunk one night and got up to take a leak and knocked over my trash can. I picked up the trash that fell out, or at least I thought I had. I got up later to take another leak and stepped on a light bulb. POP! I was picking pieces of very thin glass out my foot for days.
Hurts lie hell. I feel your pain Dude.
You have to get up twice per night to piss?
torridjoe
02-08-2006, 06:35 PM
You mean the doorway?
Does Mr. Magoo vaccum your floor?
there is no doorway, but yes--it's the entry point of the kitchen. The counter goes around from the fridge along the walls to the stove and the sink, then hooks back towards the starting wall...but ends before getting back to that first set of cabinets, and you walk through the resulting space to get into the kitchen.
torridjoe
02-08-2006, 06:36 PM
I was drunk one night and got up to take a leak and knocked over my trash can. I picked up the trash that fell out, or at least I thought I had. I got up later to take another leak and stepped on a light bulb. POP! I was picking pieces of very thin glass out my foot for days.
Hurts lie hell. I feel your pain Dude.
BROTHUR!&^@%!
I was drunk one night
Get the fock outta he-ah!
You have to get up twice per night to piss?
it is a tip that OLD#@$$#
paulinstl
02-08-2006, 08:35 PM
You have to get up twice per night to piss?
It is a tip that 12 beers and a quart of Gatorade.
:yes:
It is a tip that 12 beers and a quart of Gatorade and a 50 year old prostate and bladder.
:yes:
fixored
dolfan06
02-08-2006, 08:40 PM
I've done that. At my future wife's house when I was in college, dropped a glass and then stepped on a piece. One inch diameter piece of glass was actually inside my heel, I had to dig under my skin to get it out. Then I fainted like a little bitch.
torridjoe
02-08-2006, 08:42 PM
I've done that. At my future wife's house when I was in college, dropped a glass and then stepped on a piece. The glass was actually inside my heel, I had to dig under my skin to get it out. Then I fainted like a little bitch.
I guess the line between whining like a bitch and fainting like one, is whether you have to re-break the skin to dig it out. Fervid just reached into the gaping maw of a wound and plucked it out.
My band-aid has Spongebob on it! :hyper:
kraziness
02-08-2006, 09:01 PM
Flourist! :screams:
:clap:
futboljugador
02-09-2006, 05:13 AM
My fucking cat knocked off a plate, two bowls, and two glasses (all of our nice ones, of course that can't be replaced) off the counter.
Before you say clean up, the dishes were my sister's and I'm sick of being her maid.
She now puts things away because we've been picking little slivers of glass out of our feet for the past couple of days.
paulinstl
02-10-2006, 12:57 PM
And then one night I was tending bar and dropped a bottle of Heineken that I had just pulled from the cooler. When the botlle hit the floor it exploded. I walked past the other bartender to get the broom and mop when he told me I had a piece of glass sticking in my face. It was under my eye and I just wanted to yank it out, but my boss made me go to the ER. When I got there, they took an X-ray to make sure it wasn't attached to something important in my eye. It wasn't and they yanked it out put some topical antibiotic and a small bandage on it. The strange thing was, the shard of glass was about an inch and a half long and so sharp that I never felt it go in.
fervid ro
02-10-2006, 02:51 PM
The truth:
A glass was broken about a week ago=kids. We both helped clean it up off of the HARD WOOD(NOT WHITE) floor.
But we must have missed a piece of glass that went under the fridge, I guess.
It was a shard- not a dagger.
And I thought he was being a wuss until I pulled out this long piece of glass. Then I felt really guilty.
There.
He's still limping...
Gutter
02-10-2006, 02:53 PM
The truth:
A glass was broken about a week ago=kids. We both helped clean it up off of the HARD WOOD(NOT WHITE) floor.
But we must have missed a piece of glass that went under the fridge, I guess.
It was a shard- not a dagger.
And I thought he was being a wuss until I pulled out this long piece of glass. Then I felt really guilty.
There.
He's still limping...
Why was torrid walking under the fridge? :headscratch:
dolfan06
02-10-2006, 02:54 PM
Why was torrid walking under the fridge? :headscratch:
Because he thought there might be food under there? :dunno:
fervid ro
02-10-2006, 02:57 PM
Why was torrid walking under the fridge? :headscratch:
I don't know HTF he stepped on it. It must have been under the edge and sticking out a bit I suppose. I've been walking around in that kitchen as have the kids and we never saw it.:dunno:
fervid ro
02-10-2006, 02:59 PM
Thank God it wasn't worse.
I still feel bad.
Gutter
02-10-2006, 03:09 PM
Thank God it wasn't worse.
I still feel bad.
Yeah, Thank God it didn't travel to an artery or anything.
fervid ro
02-10-2006, 03:13 PM
Yeah, Thank God it didn't travel to an artery or anything.
Better it was a 38 year old foot than a five year old foot.:yes:
parrot
02-10-2006, 03:43 PM
I don't know HTF he stepped on it. It must have been under the edge and sticking out a bit I suppose. I've been walking around in that kitchen as have the kids and we never saw it.:dunno:
I'm thinking little joe planted it, payback for the brussel sprouts.
brussel sprouts.
Most commonly misspelled vegetable evah!
brussels sprouts
parrot
02-10-2006, 04:23 PM
Most commonly misspelled vegetable evah!
brussels sprouts
:points:
But the b should be capitalized cockbite.
:points:
But the b should be capitalized cockbite.
And you're the master of capitalization, eh Parrot?
Burn
parrot
02-10-2006, 06:53 PM
And you're the master of capitalization, eh Parrot?
Burn
:finger:
I giggled more than once revisiting this one.
I guess that makes it one of our best evah!!! :hyper:
Was this in Torrid's political corner? If so, that explains why I've never seen it.
Was this in Torrid's political corner? If so, that explains why I've never seen it.
It was way back before your time - Winter '06.
nobody
06-26-2006, 08:40 PM
I'm concerned that torrid would lie about the color of his floor in order to prove a point. :nono:
Merkin
06-26-2006, 10:16 PM
So I'm standing in the kitchen in my work socks
Work socks. What a focking dork! :snicker:
Work socks. What a focking dork! :snicker:
If he was a sock puppeteer you wouldn't laugh!
Mostly because he'd be the scariest sock puppeteer on the fucking planet!
BiPolarBear
07-04-2006, 07:39 PM
just the one--I hope. A couple weeks ago a glass container fell out of the freezer and shattered. We vacuumed, swept, etc.---but must have missed that piece somehow.
I'm sorry you got hurt, pal.
It is easy to miss a piece of glass laying on the floor. I have kind of a phobia about glass from seeing a couple of friends get hurt as a kid. I am a very careful glass cleaner. Here is a tip. Wait 'til night and turn off the lights. Put a flashlight on the floor and rotate it around the room. Pieces of glass, even very small pieces show up in the light. This works during daylight hours too; just not quite as well.
Merkin
07-05-2006, 07:00 AM
I'm sorry you got hurt, pal.
It is easy to miss a piece of glass laying on the floor. I have kind of a phobia about glass from seeing a couple of friends get hurt as a kid. I am a very careful glass cleaner. Here is a tip. Wait 'til night and turn off the lights. Put a flashlight on the floor and rotate it around the room. Pieces of glass, even very small pieces show up in the light. This works during daylight hours too; just not quite as well.
Felix Unger representin' yo! :snicker:
I'm sorry you got hurt, pal.
It is easy to miss a piece of glass laying on the floor. I have kind of a phobia about glass from seeing a couple of friends get hurt as a kid. I am a very careful glass cleaner. Here is a tip. Wait 'til night and turn off the lights. Put a flashlight on the floor and rotate it around the room. Pieces of glass, even very small pieces show up in the light. This works during daylight hours too; just not quite as well.
I think torrid's method of feeling around on the ground with a bare foot attached to a 290 pound frame is a much more effective method of finding rogue glass shards.
SigEp316
02-06-2008, 01:19 AM
it's a tip that Teva Mush arounf the house....dumb shit
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