Let's all talk about ourselves! [Archive]

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 05:40 PM

Rules are: talk about yourself, ignore what everyone else says about themselves.

So I got in a huge fight with my wife last night and wound up having to sleep in the guest room, which was horribly uncomfortable and I wound up twinging my back so now I have a spasm whenever I try to breathe too deep. So I tell myself to stop breathing because its killing my back, but then the not breathing might kill me.

fricker66

02-16-2006, 05:45 PM

I am currently on the tail end of bronchitis, and I am coughing up large hunks of gooey phlegm.:hyper:

02-16-2006, 05:45 PM

Self!! You didn't even read dolfan's post after the whole "talk about yourself" part!!

I know!!@# :highfive:

Also, isn't it strange that there's thunder and lightning outside, and also snowing?

Yes it is!!! :highfive:

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 05:53 PM

Maybe it's because I'm doped up on ibuprofen because my back hurts so bad, but I'm totally not about crossing the line and discussing the posts of other people in this thread!@

02-16-2006, 05:55 PM

I wonder if someone here had a fight with his, oh I don't know, wife or something last night, and if so, I wonder what it might've been about....

DuckStupid

02-16-2006, 05:56 PM

I'm getting over a cold, had to take a couple of days off this week cuz I felt just terrible. Other than that, my sex life has been lacking lately.

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 06:03 PM

Maybe I'll discuss what my wife and I were fighting about. We're having the tile in our master bathroom replaced and the tile people came in yesterday to rip out the old tile. Apparently they told her not to leave anything out in the bathroom but they didn't tell her that the dust would get, like, all over our bedroom and linen closet and everyplace else in the house. So she is fucking flipping out about the dust everywhere along with not being able to use our bathroom because they ripped out the toilet and having to re-wash every item of towel and linen that we own and everything is NOT FUCKING RIGHT and all I'm doing is trying to calm the bitch down because I need to get some sleep for a very important meeting this morning. My calm the bitch down plan didn't work out so well so I went downstairs to get away from her and started puttering around and she started flipping out about all the noise I was making opening and closing the refrigerator, walking back and forth, opening and closing the bathroom door, whatever. So I said good night and went to bed in the guest room which turned out to be not such a great plan for me.

Thanks self for letting me get that off my chest!

SigEp316

02-16-2006, 06:07 PM

I know I'm supposed to not pay attention...but dolfan' drama is :hyper:

iDot

02-16-2006, 06:07 PM

boy, i sure am glad i don't have to read any of this crap!@

:whew:

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 06:09 PM

I know I'm supposed to not pay attention...but dolfan' drama is :hyper:

:twak: take it to the talk about other people thread!@ :screams:

02-16-2006, 06:11 PM

Also, self!!@#

For no particular reason pat yourself on the back for marrying a reasonable human being!!!

*pat pat pat*

DuckStupid

02-16-2006, 06:18 PM

I wonder why there isn't more activity on this board. I also wonder if I should have showered this morning.

Bill Swerski

02-16-2006, 06:25 PM

I'm stuck in the middle of a major fucking crisis as three of my developers have some sort of Indian bird flu and I have a project deadline to meet in 72 hours. My wife is bitching up a storm about how uncomfortable it is to be pregnant, she is constantly shoving paint and carpet samples in front of me for the fucking nursery and I feel like screaming at her that I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU LIKE THE FOREST SAGE OR THE MINT SAGE!#!#! JUST PICK A FUCKING COLOR AND LEAVE ME ALONE!@#@ :screams:

Also, her Mother is in town for a visit and they are irritating the ever loving shit out of me. Her Mother made some god awful stew last night for dinner and when I got home from work, she was upset that I didn't want any of it. I had dinner at the office because I was working late due to absent Indian reasons. When I got home, I wanted to have a beer and a scotch and go to bed. Three hours of small talk and guilt later, I had a bowl of crappy stew and went to bed. My wife then woke me up three times to tell me she couldn't sleep and wanted me to go get her something...water, etc.

I got on the train to go to work this morning and realized I forgot to recharge my iPod so I was forced to listen to two hedge fund monkeys talk about shorting strategies on energy commodities or some shit. I roll into work to find I'm now down three Indians and I have to fly to San Francisco for a project review meeting tonight followed by a three day trip to London to manage a data center rollout of some new servers for my project that is woefully fucking behind.

To top it off, I just spilled chocolate milk all over my white shirt. Fucking awesome.

Bill Swerski

02-16-2006, 06:30 PM

Also, they just hired a new secretary for me to share with another guy. Her name is Chevonne and I think she fucking bathes in her perfume. You can seriously smell her from 500 feet away. I just asked her to go to the store to get me a new shirt since I won't have time to go home before flying tonight. She told me she'd need me to pay for the shirt, so I gave her $50 and told her to get me a long sleeved white t-shirt at a sporting goods store and to get a hose to wash off her half gallon of perfume. If she fails to reduce her stink level, I told her to have the employee at the store shrink wrap the shirt so I wouldn't be covered in her perfume on my flight. She told me I was an asshole. I told her that she smelled like a wet cat wearing Chanel No. 5.

We're getting along well.

Dick Hertz

02-16-2006, 06:31 PM

I'm stuck in the middle of a major fucking crisis as three of my developers have some sort of Indian bird flu and I have a project deadline to meet in 72 hours.

SELL!!!SELL!!!SELL!!!SELL!!!SELL!!!SELL!!!SELL!!!

Gutter

02-16-2006, 07:27 PM

dream job words.:eek:

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 07:37 PM

I just had a snickers bar. Yeah thats right I went there. :yes:

S.D. Jones

02-16-2006, 07:38 PM

I just bought a humidifier that sounds like a race car. I don't know how I'm going to sleep with this thing running. :wigglypea:

02-16-2006, 07:47 PM

Man, I wish I knew what the Points: (Donate) thing in my header thingie was all about.

If only someone would explain to me...

iDot

02-16-2006, 07:50 PM

http://www.horriblewords.com/forum/Smileys/default/curious.gif self, i was just thinking. YES SELF? tk sure is an assface!! :hyper: HE SURE IS SELF@!@! GOOD ONE@! :highfive:

02-16-2006, 07:53 PM

Self, I wonder what wonderful things iDot will have to say about this place today?

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THEM!!!@!@!!@!#!#!@!#$$@#!!@#!@ :hyper:

Scatterjack

02-16-2006, 08:00 PM

A few months ago I wanted to do some house cleaning but did not have any products to clean with. I remembered the Clorox thing and I just assumed it was equal parts bleach and water. So I got a spray bottle and made my own Clorox cleaner. Last night was bathroom cleaning night and sprayed the entire friggin bathroom with this stuff and proceeded to get half-voilently ill, my eyes went partially blind, and I couldnt breathe for like 4 hours. Other than that, I think I will have a few screwdrivers and play some darts after work today.

02-16-2006, 08:02 PM

Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, I'm wondering if Scatterjack accidentally made cyanide gas a few months ago by adding ammonia to his bleach....

:unsure:

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-16-2006, 09:21 PM

ummm.... self, i am... myself!@# :sadbanana:

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 09:35 PM

I am my own favorite subject! Self, you're awesome! :highfive:

fervid ro

02-16-2006, 10:25 PM

I don't care if anyone else likes my choice in movies or thinks I look like a gorilla.

dolfan06

02-16-2006, 11:07 PM

My wife just called and asked me to pick up some menstrual products on the way home.

SigEp316

02-16-2006, 11:48 PM

I don't care if anyone else likes my choice in movies or thinks I look like a gorilla.

:lol:

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-17-2006, 12:00 AM

i have a cannonball wound.

CMT

02-17-2006, 12:08 AM

i have a cannonball wound.

I've been shot before. :screams:

Steebo

02-17-2006, 01:37 AM

I cut my finger a couple of weeks ago and had to get 4 stitches.

When I went back to get them taken out the nurse said "Oops, I guess maybe we should have left those in a little longer."
http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/mad/1018.gif

Now I have an ugly, half healed half open wound on my finger.http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/mad/081.gif

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-17-2006, 01:52 AM

i think etch-a-sketch's should be a mandatory part of art class for elementary school kids.

Farmer Bernie

02-17-2006, 11:14 AM

I have to spend 7 hours on the road today just to attend a 2 hour meeting.

brinett9

02-17-2006, 02:18 PM

i was born a poor black child.

SigEp316

02-17-2006, 02:23 PM

I've got to drive down to the Four Seasons to have a 3 hour meeting with a bitch whore of a manager that I loathe...Should be fucking awesome!

:mad:

brinett9

02-17-2006, 02:51 PM

i eagerly await the arrival of Halo 2 in the mail.

also i had a bowl of Stagg's chili last night with a little cayenne and two pieces of american cheese melted on top.

fervid ro

02-17-2006, 02:53 PM

I am trying to decide what guitar to buy. And how much money to spend.:yes:

brinett9

02-17-2006, 02:59 PM

I am trying to decide what guitar to buy. And how much money to spend.:yes:
Aren't these two decisions instrinsically linked?

I think you have only one degree of freedom here, not two.

fervid ro

02-17-2006, 03:10 PM

Aren't these two decisions instrinsically linked?

I think you have only one degree of freedom here, not two.
no.
I am trying to decide what type what brand and then how much to spend-whether I want to buy now or save a while and go really pricey...

I had an Ibanez cutaway acoustic/electric.
I'm trying to decide between buying another Ibanez or stepping up to a Martin or maybe a Taylor.
Then it would be fun to have a gretsch style Gibson...
decisions, decisions.

dolfan06

02-17-2006, 03:28 PM

Aren't these two decisions instrinsically linked?

I think you have only one degree of freedom here, not two.

GODDAMMIT NO ACKNOWLEDGING THE EXISTENCE OF OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS THREAD!@# :screams:

If you can't say something about yourself then dont say anything at all. :wigglypea:

fricker66

02-17-2006, 03:30 PM

I like beer.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-17-2006, 03:32 PM

my wife made kickass enchiladas last night. i ate too many. then i had cheesecake.

brinett9

02-17-2006, 03:35 PM

my job has turned into a collossal joke.

dolfan06

02-17-2006, 03:35 PM

I wish I didn't overlook the meximelt at taco bell as much as I do. It's only a dollar, which for the extra step of melting two types of cheese in a soft taco shell is a hell of a great value.

brinett9

02-17-2006, 03:40 PM

i own a chair that vibrates.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-17-2006, 03:40 PM

i suddenly have a craving for potato ole's from taco johns. :eek:

brinett9

02-17-2006, 03:43 PM

one of my dogs likes to pull my socks off.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-17-2006, 03:46 PM

i can't believe i'm going to drive all the way to florida, i must be insane.

CMT

02-17-2006, 03:55 PM

i can't believe i'm going to drive all the way to florida, i must be insane.

I drove from Dallas to Beaufort, SC once. From Lubbock to Phoneix overnight. From Lubbok to Chicago.

brinett9

02-17-2006, 03:58 PM

i've been having a big-time skidmark problem lately.

Scatterjack

02-17-2006, 05:14 PM

I just ate an entire Tombstone pizza

02-17-2006, 05:15 PM

I'm really hoping my cubicle neigbor doesn't smell what just came out of my butt....

:unsure:

Bill Swerski

02-17-2006, 05:46 PM

I got to the airport last night, and found out that Chevonne (fat, smelly secretary) booked me direct to SFO in coach class. :screams: :screams: :screams:

It was a full flight with no room in business or first class. As you might imagine, I hate flying in coach, especially in the middle seat.

I had to switch airlines and fly into San Jose so I could fly in business class. That fucking bitch caused me a whole assload of problems yesterday, it took me two hours to get from San Jose to the office. I took the red eye back last night and now I have to fly out again in four hours. I booked the flight myself, at least I'll get that sweetass seat on British Airways that folds out into a bed. :hyper:

Also, I hate driving aorunf the Bay Area, it's a fucking miserable nightmare.

iDot

02-17-2006, 05:52 PM

i have a cannonball wound.

he means from pooping.

iDot

02-17-2006, 05:54 PM

also!! i'm at home right now and i'm supposed to be at work!@#@! :hyper:

brinett9

02-17-2006, 05:56 PM

my ass is not a happy camper today, even for an ass-camper.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-17-2006, 06:18 PM

:sadbanana:

DuckStupid

02-17-2006, 07:09 PM

I have nothing of intrest to add so I'm just going to type in four more random words after this sentence. Or maybe I wont.

fervid ro

02-18-2006, 07:51 PM

I just bought gorgonzola cheese at Whole Foods and Torrid was:shock: :screams: :nono: when he saw the price per pound $19.99- I hope it's some good stinky cheese.

mcbokonon

02-18-2006, 09:38 PM

I just bought a lottery ticket on my own for the first time in my life.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-18-2006, 11:25 PM

i just lit a match and burned up some money i had laying around.

mcbokonon

02-18-2006, 11:57 PM

I just found some money and spent it on a CD of some crappy hair band.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-19-2006, 04:44 AM

I JUST FOUND SOME MONEY AND GOT PISSASS DRUNK!@#$@#:hyper:

Scatterjack

02-19-2006, 05:44 AM

I made a visit to the local Best Buy today and bought the new Mudvayne CD.

andalso I got the Elton John Boxset.

Shaniqua the checkout girl was like :no: and :unsure: but I was like :yes:

Now I am feeling quite conflicted.

Unknown_Soldier

02-19-2006, 01:18 PM

I've never bought a lottery ticket for myself. I once bought my brother a few scratch tickets when he wasn't old enough, but other than that :no:

mcbokonon

02-19-2006, 04:38 PM

I just lost ten bucks. It vanished into thin air.

Scatterjack

02-20-2006, 02:50 PM

Last night I caught some interesting programming that I had on Tivo. First I watched a Discovery documentary on MS-13. Then I watched an A&E documentry on Bill Riccio and the Aryan National Front.

I'm more conflicted than ever.

:unsure:

02-20-2006, 03:13 PM

Not that I would have any idea what Scatterjack saw last night, but I'm pretty sure I saw the same Skinhead documentary that he did.

Steebo

02-20-2006, 04:18 PM

I just woke up.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-20-2006, 05:44 PM

just in case people are interested about and / or talking about documentaries, i watched "the man whose arms exploded" on TLC. THAT GUY WAS A FRIGGING LUNATIC!@# :unsure:

nobody

02-20-2006, 06:47 PM

The first girl I had sexual relations with was a highschool friend. Later she became a drug abuser, stripper, and spent time in a mental hospital, and, yet, we are still friends.

EMoney

02-20-2006, 06:50 PM

I just dropped anchor.

nobody

02-20-2006, 06:54 PM

A dog bit a large chunk of my calf off when I was about 11 years old. My stepdad told me I should walk around on it alot because he wanted me to do chores, and my teacher told me I should just sit in my chair in rest it because he was tired of me walking around making trouble. It was a valuable lesson to never trust anyone ever.

nobody

02-20-2006, 06:58 PM

One of my favorite words in the english language, heck in any language, is copious. Here's why. Looking at it, one would think it would have something to do with copies, but no this word isn't that simply.

DITKANATE!@#$@#$@#$

02-20-2006, 07:00 PM

this bored is filled with simplytons. :sadbanana:

nobody

02-20-2006, 07:10 PM

I went to Las Vegas last weekend. I lost 1200 dollars at various games. The only time I won any money was when I went to the Palms and played craps. I convinced myself that there was a huge conspiracy that weekend and the dice were all rigged, so I went to a table with three or so people and tried to get everyone to bet the "No Pass" line with me. They refused and the entire table hated me because I was making money. Eventually a high roller came in and started betting 1000's of dollars at a time. I didn't want to have my various 25 dollar bets working against his 5000 dollar bets so I left. I figured he deserved his own table.

After thinking about it on the plane ride home I realized how stupid my conspiracy theory was. To rig die to come up seven you would have to do combinations of 1-6, 2-5, and 3-4. Obviously out of the six die available, the casino cannot be sure the shooter will pick the matched loaded pair. I'm a fool. :nono: