AL Preview, Brushback style

[TK]

http://www.thebrushback.com/alpreview.htm

Detroit Tigers

Strength:
Aside from “ace” Kenny Rogers, the Tigers have Mike Maroth, the 20-game winner, er, loser from a few years ago, Nate Robinson, and Jeremy Bonderman. If these guys can step up big time and perform better than they’ve ever performed and in fact better than they’re actually capable of performing, and the playoff field is expanded to include all teams, expect the Tigers to make the playoffs.

Weakness:
Roster

Question Mark:
My friend knows a guy who works at Comerica Park and he said that Ivan Rodriguez is nailing one of the secretaries there.

Outlook:
The Tigers should be a fun team to watch this year if you’re an Indians fan.


Sounds about right.

[OB]

Texas Rangers

Strength:
Kevin Millwood. After the Red Sox offered Millwood a one-year contract for around $83, the savvy Rangers swooped and offered him four years at $48 million, with an option for a 5th year. That option will be picked up only if Kevin Millwood is the GM.

Question Mark:
The corners of the infield will be patrolled by the fuckin awesome Mark Teixeira and the sort-of-awesome Hank Blalock, who must rebound this year or he'll see a sharp decline in the quality of pussy he’s getting.

Outlook:
Chan Ho Park and his 6ish ERA have been shipped to San Diego, but that’s only 19 hours away. If I were a Rangers fan I still wouldn’t feel completely safe. Some funny stuff there.

:lol:

[kraziness]

Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Strength:
New manager Joe Maddon brings an air of optimism along with him, like every other new manager in the history of baseball. He also brings a proven track record of sitting next to Mike Scioscia and spitting out sunflower seeds.

Weakness:
The pitching staff is the weak spot on this team, but they still have hope if Mark Hendrickson can regain the form that made him a winner in that June 8th, 2003 game against the Twins.

Question Mark:
Aubrey Huff has an embarrassingly feminine name. If I were him, I would change it to “Michael” or “Harold” or “Raymond.” Those are good, solid, dignified male names.

Outlook:
This team still has not recovered from the losses of Greg Vaughn, Vinny Castillo, and Jose Canseco. If the previous ownership didn’t have such an itchy trigger finger, all three of those guys would still be wearing Tampa uniforms and who knows how many championship banners would be hanging from the freakish fiberglass ceiling at Tropicana Field?



Where do I sign up for season tickets?!

[kraziness]

Outlook:
The Tigers should be a fun team to watch this year if you’re an Indians fan.

:clap:

[mcbokonon]

This is some funny stuff. Here's the NL preview. (http://www.thebrushback.com/nlpreview.htm)


Strength:
Sean Casey is in a contract year, so expect him to run through walls this season in order to help his team win and then sign a long term deal somewhere else and cruise into retirement. Only in America!

Weakness:
Manager Jim Tracy said that losing is “unacceptable,” which means they’re still going to lose but now they're not going to accept it, for what that’s worth.

Question mark:
The Pirates have Roberto Hernandez as the elder statesman in their bullpen. They’re hoping at 40 he pitches a lot better than he did when he was 20.

Outlook:
The Pirates aren’t going to join the Steelers as world champions this year, but they’re going to look funny as hell trying.


:sadbanana:

[S.D. Jones]

Milwaukee Brewers

Outlook:
I know this is off the subject, but the Green Bay Packers have a player on their team who once shit in somebody’s laundry basket.

:lol:

[Steebo]

National League East
Atlanta Braves

Strength:
The Braves have a lot of new faces and a few untested players, but that shouldn’t stop them from falling just short this year.

Weakness:
Andruw Jones is positively gargantuan. I bet he sees a big juicy steak every time he looks at Marcus Giles. Jesus, eat a salad, dude. The outfield is only so vast.

Question mark:
The Braves don’t have a legitimate closer right now, but that’s OK. They have just enough in the bullpen to get them a division title. Everything after that is gravy.

Outlook:
At this point the Braves would be more interesting if they imploded and plummeted to the bottom of the standings. To me anyway.



Painfully accurate.:sadbanana:

[EMoney]

Lots of laughs from those previews.:clap: