I zipped myself up in myself!!!!

[Scatterjack]

Ok so I had surgery on my shoulder this past Thursday....partial tear of my left rotator cuff. There was also some sort of bone filing going on that I didnt really understand. But thats a minor detail of this story. So Saturday night I decided to go play in a dart tournament. For some reason I found the idea of the combination of annoying pain, percosets, and vodka while hurling sharp pointed steal objects in a precise manner to be appealing. In my handicapped state, I also found taking a piss to be a little difficult. Specifically, getting the Little General in and out of its hiding place was a little difficult considering its massive size and the fact that I had use of only one hand. So apparently on my previous trip to the head (no pun intended) I didnt get the Little General all the way back into his holding place and apparently there was some pokage happening out of the flaphole of my boxers. Soon thereafter my name was called to play the top team at the tourney, but i had to make a stop in the head. In a hurry I zipped down and to my utter dismay I had caught said General in my mother fucking zipper. It wasnt just a graze either. It was "caught." I had to 2 choices to get out of this mess. I could yank (again, no pun intended) it out of the teeth of my zipper, or I could rezip and upzip said zipper in hopes I could free the General from its trap. To be honest, I dont even remember which method I chose but I do remember standing there afterward, holding the General, with visible blood, and unable to pee for a good 3 minutes. Finally I was able to relieve myself and left the bathroom with my head completely covered in sweat. Have a good day fellas!!

[Burt]

Nothing beats a good bloody dick story.

[TK]

Nothing beats a good bloody dick story.

Do you have one? :hyper:

[Orgazmo]

I'm waiting for gutter to top this by claiming he saw a show where little generals are peeled like grapes and thrown into a pot of boiling water.

[EMoney]

Thanks for sharing.

[iDot]

http://www.horriblewords.com/forum/Smileys/default/yuck.gif

[mcbokonon]

Hey man, sorry about your penis.



So...do you prefer 301 or cricket? Let's talk darts! :hyper:

[kraziness]

We've got a bleeder!#

[Scatterjack]

Hey man, sorry about your penis.



So...do you prefer 301 or cricket? Let's talk darts! :hyper:
I prefer cricket because it is the only game where you can dictate what your opponent does. 01 is just a race. Our league plays 401 301 and cricket. I am the 301 specialist on both of my teams beause I am very good at out shots. I am usually top 5 in the league in outs but near the bottom in tons among 01 shooters.

You play just for fun or for real? I just played in the Eastern regionals and missed qualifying by one stinking game. had 36 in the last game, wired the dbl1/18 on the 1 side and my opponent took it out and then waxed me in the playoff.

Check out the next edition of Bullseye magazine. My picture is supposed to be in there for winning an event at the ADO TRICODA tournament last month.

[mcbokonon]

I just play for fun. I started a couple years ago and I play in a league. We do four singles matches, two doubles and then a team game. Each match is a best of three where we play cricket, 301 and 501.

I've become pretty decent at it and, like you, thrive on 301 because I can nail the ins and outs. If I played with more regularity, I'd probably be able to compete in regional events. We have regional players in our league and I hold my own.

Also!@ do you look down upon the electronic darts people? We do! :hyper: We're dart snobs! :hyper:

[iDot]

electronic darts suck!@#!

you know, thought i'd throw some brilliant insite out there!! :verneig:

[fervid ro]

Ok so I had surgery on my shoulder this past Thursday....partial tear of my left rotator cuff. There was also some sort of bone filing going on that I didnt really understand. But thats a minor detail of this story. So Saturday night I decided to go play in a dart tournament. For some reason I found the idea of the combination of annoying pain, percosets, and vodka while hurling sharp pointed steal objects in a precise manner to be appealing. In my handicapped state, I also found taking a piss to be a little difficult. Specifically, getting the Little General in and out of its hiding place was a little difficult considering its massive size and the fact that I had use of only one hand. So apparently on my previous trip to the head (no pun intended) I didnt get the Little General all the way back into his holding place and apparently there was some pokage happening out of the flaphole of my boxers. Soon thereafter my name was called to play the top team at the tourney, but i had to make a stop in the head. In a hurry I zipped down and to my utter dismay I had caught said General in my mother fucking zipper. It wasnt just a graze either. It was "caught." I had to 2 choices to get out of this mess. I could yank (again, no pun intended) it out of the teeth of my zipper, or I could rezip and upzip said zipper in hopes I could free the General from its trap. To be honest, I dont even remember which method I chose but I do remember standing there afterward, holding the General, with visible blood, and unable to pee for a good 3 minutes. Finally I was able to relieve myself and left the bathroom with my head completely covered in sweat. Have a good day fellas!!

I thought that Gutter was the Little General? cornfused.

[Scatterjack]

I just play for fun. I started a couple years ago and I play in a league. We do four singles matches, two doubles and then a team game. Each match is a best of three where we play cricket, 301 and 501.

I've become pretty decent at it and, like you, thrive on 301 because I can nail the ins and outs. If I played with more regularity, I'd probably be able to compete in regional events. We have regional players in our league and I hold my own.

Also!@ do you look down upon the electronic darts people? We do! :hyper: We're dart snobs! :hyper:

I have heard people talk smack about soft tip throwers, but to be honest I wouldnt know the differnece because i have never played a soft tip board. No bars in our county even have a soft tip board.

You'll be able to appreciate this. I just got this:
http://www.dartmaster3.com/

Its friggin awesome. You always have something to play against. The 01 games are pre-programmed to take the game out in x number of darts depending on what skill level you play against. But the cricket is pretty good. it has 7 levels to play against and I am between levels 3 and 4 (level 1 is the best). On level 3 the computer will close and point 3-4 numbers with one handful, but usually gets 2 each time on the other 2-3 numbers. (level 3 actually hit 2 9-marks on me in one game, though) The only problem with the way it plays is that if it has 3 boxes on you and you have one box and a point lead, it will make sure it keeps a point lead insead of closing you out and forcing you to hit a 9 mark to catch back up. This strategy makes it possible to come back if you get yourself in a big hole. level 1 is sick. You have to hit 5 everytime to give yourself a chance. Its a bit pricey at $300 but well worth it IMO.

I thrive in 301 because I have developed a very good system at taking numbers out. I have realized that I am not the most skilled shot, so you have to factor in the "what if I miss" factor. If you have 106, its easy to say t20, 6/10 wedge, then either 40 or 36. But what if you hit a 1 or 5 with the first dart? You're focked. I say with 106, shoot the t14 first. if you miss and hit the 11 or 9, you still have a 2 dart out with 95 or 97. For your average player (like me), the outcharts are wrong.

We play 3 dbl 401 games, 2 dbl 301, 2 dbl cricket, 2 s 301, 2 s cricket, and 2 3man 501 games in our open league. Coed league is the same games but all doubles.

Ive seen several differnt ways leagues determine stats. How does your league do it?

[mcbokonon]

We get credit for hi-flyers (133 or above) in '01 games. 7, 8 and 9 counts. 5+ bulls and a ton-80. Plus, high-ons in 301 and high-outs in 301 or 501.



If you have 106, its easy to say t20, 6/10 wedge, then either 40 or 36. But what if you hit a 1 or 5 with the first dart? You're focked. I say with 106, shoot the t14 first.

I agree with this. If anything, whatever mistake you make is less damaging than a one or a five. And it's never a bad thing to get you down on the 16/8 zone, which a trip 14 would bring. Even with mistakes you have the 4's and 2's if you're off.


As far as match points go, we get one for the singles and two for doubles, and then one for team. Best of 9.

[Scatterjack]

We get credit for hi-flyers (133 or above) in '01 games. 7, 8 and 9 counts. 5+ bulls and a ton-80. Plus, high-ons in 301 and high-outs in 301 or 501.




I agree with this. If anything, whatever mistake you make is less damaging than a one or a five. And it's never a bad thing to get you down on the 16/8 zone, which a trip 14 would bring. Even with mistakes you have the 4's and 2's if you're off.


As far as match points go, we get one for the singles and two for doubles, and then one for team. Best of 9.

That strange. You would think that the singles matches would be worth more than doubles. So you put your better shooters in the doubles matches and let the lesser players play singles? The league leaders just have a high amount of points? even in cricket? We count tons, marks, outs and overall percentage. Tons are 100 or better, marks are 6 or better, and outs are self explainatory. The accumulate throughout the season. The way we do percentage is neat though. In theory you get a point for each ton, 6-mark or better, and out you throw. Then that number is divided by the total number of games played. So say you played 2 01 matches and a cricket match (all best of 3). Two of the matches went to 3 games and the other was 2 games. Thats 8 games total. Over the course of the night you hit 2 tons, 3 outs, and a 6-mark. Thats 6 "points" in 8 games, 75%. The top players in our league generally end up with just over 100% on the season. I am typically a 60% guy in the open league, and 80% in the coed league.

[TK]

Why do I keep opening this thread? :weary:

[mcbokonon]

Why do I keep opening this thread? :weary:


I have league play tonight. :hyper: I usually throw 3rd or 4th in singles and then the first doubles match. And!@# I know you just read this because you couldn't stop yourself from clicking on the thread. You're a junkie.

[TK]

I have league play tonight. :hyper: I usually throw 3rd or 4th in singles and then the first doubles match. And!@# I know you just read this because you couldn't stop yourself from clicking on the thread. You're a junkie.

DAMMIT!!@# :wigglypea:

[kraziness]

:weary: And people say I'm the boring one? :hmpf

[mcbokonon]

Gonna go play darts now! I hope you enjoyed reading this, TK! :hyper:

[Burt]

This thread would've been much better had Scatter got a dart stuck in his dick. :yes:

[Scatterjack]

i might just be able to accomodate that :eek:

[mcbokonon]

We got our asses kicked 8-1 last night, but I won our only point when I got down to 50 with one dart left in 301 and said "to hell with it" and nailed the double bull. :hyper:





:|

[Scatterjack]

We got our asses kicked 8-1 last night, but I won our only point when I got down to 50 with one dart left in 301 and said "to hell with it" and nailed the double bull. :hyper:





:|


Nice shot! you had no choice. one dart you have to go for it. If I have 50 with 2 darts i go for it too. If I am playing doubles and my partner has a chance to leave with with 50, or say 58, Ill tell him to leave 58 just so I dont have the indecision.

We lost monday night in the playoffs. We were the 3 seed and lost to the 6th place team that we had beat 11-2, 10-3, 10-3 during the regular season. It was so embarrassing. I played like shit, I dont think I hit more than 55 all night in 3 401 games and one 501 game.

do you have multiple leagues based on skill levels?

[mcbokonon]

do you have multiple leagues based on skill levels?

Yep. I play in the one right below the top league. There's many players on our level who probably should be in the top one, but whatever. I could probably hang there, but I'd get beat a little too much for my liking, so I want to improve some more first.

The guy I was playing hadn't lost a singles match in two seasons and I ended up sweeping him. I had a huge on in the 301 game and therefore a decent lead when I got down to 50. Normally, with one dart and that size of a lead, I'd go after an 18 to leave 32, but this guy could hit trip 20's like his life depended on it, so I figured I needed to just try and end it. If anything, I hit some crap I can easily clean up with one turn.

We won this league last year but are doing pretty piss-poor right now. But, as is our mantra, just make the playoffs and we'll be fine.