Most gawdawful music groups/singers

[TK]

This is not a top 5 list, rather a compilation of people/groups that somehow became famous despite absolutely no appeal or discernable musical talent whatsoever. To make it more challenging, the artist had to have more than one recognizable song, and you must list at least two of them.

If you list a band or a singer and another poster disagrees, they can't be added to the list.

I'll update the list as we go.



My first entrant is someone who seriously must've offered sexual favors to the right people in order to get a recording contract.

Mr. Billy Ocean.

"HEY! YOU! GET INTO MY CAR!" - the first and only song that I know of that glorifies abduction.

"CARRIBYAN QUEEN" - Billy was clearly ahead of his time, since he's the only artist I've ever heard that took the 4-syllable word "Carribean" and scrunched it into 3. A pioneer, if you will.


1. Billy Ocean

2. Ashlee Simpson

3. Creed

4. Backstreet Boys

5. NSYNC

6. Avril Lavigne

7. 98 Degrees

8. New Kids on the Block

9. Slaughter

10. Wham!

11. Christopher Cross

12. Rick Astley

[futboljugador]

Natalie Merchant.

Screeching harpie. If something comes on the radio, instant switch to another station or CD.

Although she sings backup and a cover on one of the Woody Guthrie/Wilco/Billy Bragg Mermaid Ave cd's and I don't mind her so much. I think the style of singing on that one dilutes the screechy tone to her voice.

[TK]

Natalie Merchant.

Screeching harpie. If something comes on the radio, instant switch to another station or CD.

Although she sings backup and a cover on one of the Woody Guthrie/Wilco/Billy Bragg Mermaid Ave cd's and I don't mind her so much. I think the style of singing on that one dilutes the screechy tone to her voice.

Give two examples of songs we might recognize. Else I can't add her to the esteemed list.

I think I can think of one, but that's about it.

[Zen]

Ashley Simpson.

I won this thread. :yes:

[TK]

Ashley Simpson.

I won this thread. :yes:

I see what you're doing here. You submit a perfectly good entrant and refuse to give 2 examples, which keeps your heterosexuality intact.

But then you misspell her name, and you know that I can't in my right mind intentionally misspell something. And yet I have to add her name to the list. So when I add it, and spell it correctly, I'll look like the big giant asshound.

Well played, zen. Well played. :mad:

[gallimaufry]

I see what you're doing here. You submit a perfectly good entrant and refuse to give 2 examples, which keeps your heterosexuality intact.

But then you misspell her name, and you know that I can't in my right mind intentionally misspell something. And yet I have to add her name to the list. So when I add it, and spell it correctly, I'll look like the big giant asshound.

Well played, zen. Well played. :mad:

wait a second. How did you know he misspelled her name? TK are you a closet fan of her's?:headscratch:

[TK]

wait a second. How did you know he misspelled her name? TK are you a closet fan of her's?:headscratch:

...and so it begins.

[CMT]

...and so it begins.


I don't know if TK would suck a wennie, but he'd sure hold it in his mouth until the swelling went down@#$#$ :hyper:

[Jessy]

Natalie Merchant.

Screeching harpie. If something comes on the radio, instant switch to another station or CD.

Although she sings backup and a cover on one of the Woody Guthrie/Wilco/Billy Bragg Mermaid Ave cd's and I don't mind her so much. I think the style of singing on that one dilutes the screechy tone to her voice.

I don't think she's screechy at all. She sings too far back in her throat for my taste. It's like that Eddie Vedder goat voice thing, times 10. That being said, there are a couple of her songs/10,000 Maniacs songs I do like.

Here's a couple I hate, for the list:

"Trouble Me," and whatever that "thank you" song is called.

[TK]

I don't know if TK would suck a wennie, but he'd sure hold it in his mouth until the swelling went down@#$#$ :hyper:

Google Image search for "wennie":

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/draatjuh/Danielle.jpg

:leer:

[TK]

I don't think she's screechy at all. She sings too far back in her throat for my taste. It's like that Eddie Vedder goat voice thing, times 10. That being said, there are a couple of her songs/10,000 Maniacs songs I do like.

Here's a couple I hate, for the list:

"Trouble Me," and whatever that "thank you" song is called.

Well, if you like her, she can't be added to the list.

I just made that rule up. :yes:

[CMT]

Oh, I get it, the shaky, crippled kid can't type. Touche. :rolleyes:

:sadbanana:

[TK]

Oh, I get it, the shaky, crippled kid can't type. Touche. :rolleyes:

:sadbanana:


:console:

[CMT]

:console:


Just as :sadbanana: truly makes you feel blue, :console: truly makes you feel better. It's science.

[Jessy]

Well, if you like her, she can't be added to the list.

I just made that rule up. :yes:

I don't actively like her. I just like a couple of songs. Does that work?

[TK]

I don't actively like her. I just like a couple of songs. Does that work?

:yes:

[Jessy]

It's cliche and all that, but I'm going to have to go ahead and say Creed.

The whole, tortured-messiah, overly righteous attitude of a disingenuous assclown lead singer (again with the singing too far in the back of the throat) makes me weep for the state of music.

Uh, two songs .. "Arms Wide Open" and that other one ... "Higher," maybe?

[futboljugador]

I don't think she's screechy at all. She sings too far back in her throat for my taste. It's like that Eddie Vedder goat voice thing, times 10. That being said, there are a couple of her songs/10,000 Maniacs songs I do like.

Here's a couple I hate, for the list:

"Trouble Me," and whatever that "thank you" song is called.

Thanks, Jess.

Maybe it's just my ear's reaction to her singing, but it makes me feel like she screeching, a-la fingernails on a chalkboard.

Oh Eddie Vedder is another good one.

"Black"
"Better Man"

[Jessy]

I want to add Jessica Simpson, but I only know her butchered version of "Take My Breath Away," so she can't count.

[TK]

Thanks, Jess.

Maybe it's just my ear's reaction to her singing, but it makes me feel like she screeching, a-la fingernails on a chalkboard.

Oh Eddie Vedder is another good one.

"Black"
"Better Man"

Sorry, but I cannot condone the addition of Pearl Jam to the list. 10 was one of the most classic albums of ever.

[dolfan06]

I'm gonna go Nickelback.

Songs:

"I Have a Horrible Canadian Mullet"
The other one

:dunno:

[Scatterjack]

Sexual Chocolate

[Jessy]

I'm gonna go Nickelback.

Songs:

"I Have a Horrible Canadian Mullet"
The other one

:dunno:

"And I Also Have an Ugly Goatee?"

[Scatterjack]

Google Image search for "wennie":

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/draatjuh/Danielle.jpg

:leer:

Wennie Cooper?
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/5870/winni2.gif

[kraziness]

I was going to read this thread and hear all the great memories, but then I realized that I would get some gawdawful song stuck in my head. I won't be reading. Thanks Anyways! :hyper:

[kraziness]

It's science.


You know I don't speak Spanish...:headscratch:

[Zen]

I want to add Jessica Simpson, but I only know her butchered version of "Take My Breath Away," so she can't count.

Jessica Simpson sings?

All this time I thought she was famous for being a living miracle, proof that the Blue Fairy does exist and that with a wave of her magic wand she can turn a plastic barbie doll into a real little girl.

She sings too?!? Forget it. Take her off this list immediately and nominate her for sainthood.

Are there any (pretentious word coming up) hagiographers in the crowd? REPRESENT damnit!@#

[TK]

Are there any (pretentious word coming up) hagiographers in the crowd? REPRESENT damnit!@#

If that word means people who write about the exploration of their gay tendencies after an extended stay in prison.....then no.....not as far as I know....

:unsure:

[Zen]

If that word means people who write about the exploration of their gay tendencies after an extended stay in prison.....then no.....not as far as I know....

:unsure:

No. But but hagiographers often moonlight as pederasts. And if they get caught they'll go to prison, so your stunning homoerotic humor might be on to something, TK. :yes:

[The Great Mighty Poo]

This has been done on FFT as a biggest No Talent Assclown contest.

I vote J-Lo.

No, I can't name two songs, but she is the suck at pretty much everything except having an unproportionately large ass that people like for some reason.

[Toro]

I will say that without a doubt, the most horrible singer ever has to be Macy Gray.
________
MERCEDES-BENZ W110 SPECIFICATIONS (http://www.mercedes-wiki.com/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_W110)

[Jessy]

I will say that without a doubt, the most horrible singer ever has to be Macy Gray.

I'd say, "Add her to the list!" However, I can't think of any of her songs. And for that, I thank Jeebus.

[TK]

See, J-Lo I understand, but at the same time I can recognize she has musical talent. It's not my genre, so I'm definitely not an expert, but I think I can safely say she can sing well.

Same with Jessica Simpson.

Nickelback, I've actually enjoyed a few of their songs, so they can't be included.

And I actually like that one song from Macy Gray. :unsure:

[Toro]

And I actually like that one song from Macy Gray. :unsure:

You are dead to me. :no:
________
MARUTI SUZUKI HISTORY (http://www.suzuki-tech.com/wiki/Maruti_Suzuki)

[TK]

You are dead to me. :no:

Though I try to hide it, it's clear.

My world crumbles when you are not near.








i just thought you should know that

[Jessy]

Though I try to hide it, it's clear.

My world crumbles when you are not near.








i just thought you should know that

I curse you!

[TK]

I curse you!

Dude! The point is moot since it's impossible to name two recognizable Macy Gray songs!

So I extend myself, for no reason, and you strike me down. I certainly hope you feel good about yourself.

[TK]

You guys are focusing on today's music, when there is a plethora of artists from the past to stomp into the dirt.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to:

Captain and Tenille.

"Muskrat Love"

"Love Will Keep Us Together"

BAM!

[kraziness]

Though I try to hide it, it's clear.

My world crumbles when you are not near.





:screams: Why did open this thread again?! :madani:













Ikindalikethatsongtoo :unsure:

[Jessy]

Dude! The point is moot since it's impossible to name two recognizable Macy Gray songs!

So I extend myself, for no reason, and you strike me down. I certainly hope you feel good about yourself.

I might feel better if I didn't have that awful, awful song in my head.

Now you're going to add the Captain and Tenille? Ach, I can't take it.

[TK]

Now you're going to add the Captain and Tenille? Ach, I can't take it.

You're a fan? :hyper:

[Jessy]

You're a fan? :hyper:

"Fan" might be a bit strong. However, I can't lie and say I wouldn't sing along with "Love Will Keep Us Together."

[TK]

"Fan" might be a bit strong. However, I can't lie and say I wouldn't sing along with "Love Will Keep Us Together."

You realize you're forcing me to take Captain and Tenille....


Captain and FOCKING Tenille



....off the list, right?

[Jessy]

You realize you're forcing me to take Captain and Tenille....


Captain and FOCKING Tenille



....off the list, right?

Hey, Jessica Simpson didn't make it, either.

I'd like to add Avril Lavigne's wannabe, fake-punk ass to the list.

"Complicated"
And um ... shit. Something about a Happy Ending.

[TK]

Hey, Jessica Simpson didn't make it, either.

I'd like to add Avril Lavigne's wannabe, fake-punk ass to the list.

"Complicated"
And um ... shit. Something about a Happy Ending.

I'm down with that as a suitable replacement for C & T, as long as you can come up with one more...

Also, what about Fiona Apple? Did she have two songs? She was annoying as fock.

[dolfan06]

Backstreet Boys

Larger than life

The song that goes I don't care who you are, where your from, what you did, as long as you love me

:hyper:

[Jessy]

I'm down with that as a suitable replacement for C & T, as long as you can come up with one more...

Also, what about Fiona Apple? Did she have two songs? She was annoying as fock.

I think she does now, but I like "Criminal." Apparently her new album got rave reviews.

Another one to add to the list ... How about Annie Lennox/Eurythmics. I've never liked anything she or they have done.

"Would I Lie to You"
"Here Comes the Rain Again"

[dolfan06]

N Sync

Tearin up my heart
Pop

[dolfan06]

98 degrees

Because of you
Give me just one night (una noche)

[TK]

Backstreet Boys

Larger than life

The song that goes I don't care who you are, where your from, what you did, as long as you love me

:hyper:

Done!

[Jessy]

Don't those boy bands go on the list automatically? Can't there be an exception?

[TK]

98 degrees

Because of you
Give me just one night (una noche)

Added.

And I'll just slap New Kids on the Block up there as well.

"Hangin' Tough"

"The Right Stuff"

[TK]

I think she does now, but I like "Criminal." Apparently her new album got rave reviews.

Another one to add to the list ... How about Annie Lennox/Eurythmics. I've never liked anything she or they have done.

"Would I Lie to You"
"Here Comes the Rain Again"

I didn't mind the Eurythmics when they first came out.

[TK]

Don't those boy bands go on the list automatically? Can't there be an exception?

Debatable. Certainly they all had some shred of talent, but where do you draw the line? Every one on the list has SOME sort of musical ability.

I just added them now to keep from everyone nominating them in the future.

[dolfan06]

I think the dividing line is all white boy bands go on the list but all black boy bands (Jackson 5, New Edition, Boyz II Men) stay off.

[Jessy]

I think the dividing line is all white boy bands go on the list but all black boy bands (Jackson 5, New Edition, Boyz II Men) stay off.

I nearly made that caveat myself. Oh, New Edition ...

[TK]

I think the dividing line is all white boy bands go on the list but all black boy bands (Jackson 5, New Edition, Boyz II Men) stay off.

This is reasonable.

[Zen]

I didn't mind the Eurythmics when they first came out.

Seconded.

[Toro]

Rusty Syringes.

I won this thread. :points:
________
MARIJUANA VAPORIZER (http://weedvaporizers.info/)

[TK]

Rusty Syringes.

I won this thread. :points:

I still jam to Shark Dance.

Victory revoked!!! :twak:

[Farmer Bernie]

Smash Mouth
INXS

[TK]

Smash Mouth
INXS

I liked both of those bands.

In fact, I own 5 or 6 INXS CDs.... :unsure:

[Jessy]

Smash Mouth
INXS

Ugh. I loathe Smash Mouth.

INXS, though ... good stuff.

[TK]

Well....I wasn't crazy about Smash Mouth, but I can't deny my toes tapped a bit to the opening of Shrek....

[finnmaccoul]

I think I must go with Stryper.

If anyone can remember 2 of their songs, please insert here.

Can I get a ruling from the Judges??:verneig:

[TK]

I think I must go with Stryper.


Great suggestion. Too bad it's humanly impossible to recollect two songs from them.

[Jessy]

Great suggestion. Too bad it's humanly impossible to recollect two songs from them.

I bet edjr would know. He loves Stryper.

[dolfan06]

Great suggestion. Too bad it's humanly impossible to recollect two songs from them.

They did a remake of Spirit in the Sky. Other than that, :dunno:

[TK]

Slaughter.

"Up all Night"

"Fly to the Angels"

Any opposed?

[TD Ryan]

Rick Astley

never gonna' blah blah blah
never gonna' blah blah blah
never gonna' blah blah blah

... or hurt you.


:screams: I fukkin' hate that song. I fukkin' hate that guy. I fukkin' hate that guy's voice. Worst Music EVER!!!

[Steebo]

They did a remake of Spirit in the Sky. Other than that, :dunno:

To Hell With the Devil?:dunno:

[Burt]

Wham!

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
Careless Whisper

:|

[Burt]

Christopher Cross

Ride Like The Wind
Think Of Laura

:|

[Burt]

B-52's

Love Shack
Rock Lobster

I cant stand listening to Fred The Fag sing. All I can think of when I hear him sing is him on stage prancing back and forth like a princess.

:|

[Burt]

Rick Astley

never gonna' blah blah blah
never gonna' blah blah blah
never gonna' blah blah blah

... or hurt you.


:screams: I fukkin' hate that song. I fukkin' hate that guy. I fukkin' hate that guy's voice. Worst Music EVER!!!

Never Gonna Give You Up
Together Forever

I cant believe I just admitted I knew these. :wigglypea:

[fervid ro]

Rusty Syringes.

I won this thread. :points:
buttmont boogie rocks and the song after that with the old people calling in is hilarity.

[fervid ro]

B-52's

Love Shack
Rock Lobster
:|

These were classic party songs when I was in college.

But then I don't have any issues with people who might be gay.

[Zen]

These were classic party songs when I was in college.

But then I don't have any issues with people who might be gay.

A lot of the their less played songs are pretty good too. Rock Lobster and Lock Shack (which just sucks) have been so overplayed it's terrible. Great at college parties, like Ro said, but I can't listen to either one anymore. Other than that, they aren't terrible. Some of the stuff off their first album is pretty good. The Love Shack album was awful though.

[Steebo]

Steely Dan.

[TK]

Wham!
Christopher Cross
Rick Astley

added!

[dolfan06]

Kris Kross

Jump! Jump!
That other song they had

[kraziness]

I think the dividing line is all white boy bands go on the list but all black boy bands (Jackson 5, New Edition, Boyz II Men) stay off.


The Beatles :dunno:

[Unknown_Soldier]

Right Said Fred


"I'm Too Sexy"
that should be enough. I don't know if they had any more...

[fervid ro]

Millie Vanillie.

[finnmaccoul]

Millie Vanillie.

Don't you technically have to sing to be considered in this thread??:headscratch:

[fricker66]

B-52's

Love Shack
Rock Lobster

I cant stand listening to Fred The Fag sing. All I can think of when I hear him sing is him on stage prancing back and forth like a princess.

:|

Early B-52s (pre-Love Shack) is excellent punk music. The song "Strobe Light" kicks serious ass.

[fricker66]

Brittney Spears gets my vote. Musically and probably otherwise, she sucks.

[TK]

Whoever created this thread should be ashamed. Damn fucking ashamed.

ETA: despite the fact he probably has an immense schlong.